The Jen Lister Podcast

Interview With Business & Mindset Coach for Women in Business Shelley Bosworth - imposter syndrome, the six figure goal & mindset tips

• Jennie Lister • Season 1 • Episode 16

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Get ready to be inspired! Today I am delighted to have Shelley Bosworth, a business and mindset coach for women, joining me. Through one-to-one coaching and group programmes she helps empower ladies to take control of their lives - getting out of their own way so they can achieve whatever they dream up! Plus her free Facebook community 'The Successful Ladies Escape Lounge' is there as extra support in this journey.

Learn all about how Shelley transformed herself after 25 years in the corporate world discovering what truly matters most; from that step forward on an incredible path she has become a successful entrepreneurial coach – unlocking personal potentials along the way.

Shelley helps her clients tackle the tough stuff -- like battling imposter syndrome, overcoming social media envy and balancing motherhood with business. But she doesn't just offer words of encouragement - Shelley provides real-world advice to help people feel empowered in their work. In this episode learn her top 3 tips for success that will give you confidence to trust your decisions making skills, enabling success at every turn! Hear what they are now by checking out the show!

You can find Shelley's website at shelleybosworthcoaching.com where you can book a no obligations discovery call with her. Shelley is on social media as @shelleybosworthcoaching and you can get in touch with her to find out how to get access to her free Facebook community The Successful Ladies Escape Lounge.

Follow me on social media, it's @jenlistercoaching on Instagram and LinkedIn.

My website is Jenlister.com

Click here to get my 7 mindset steps to starting or scaling your business

Music and production by the amazing Strike Productions

Podcast management by Dean at DBVirtual 

Jennie Lister:

Hello, and welcome to The Jen Lister Podcast. Here I'll be chatting about life, business growth strategies and sharing my personal journey along the way. And we'll also be interviewing some incredible guests who are experts in their field, see my little black book of business? Hello, and welcome back to The Jen Lister Podcast. I am really, really excited to have the amazing Shelley Bosworth Coaching on with me today. The reason that I am very excited about this is I remember when I didn't even have my coaching business. I remember seeing Shelly on social media and be like, Wow, she's ethics based. And like she's doing all this coaching. And she looks really inspiring. And I could never do that. Like I could never be that kind of person. And then when I got to meet her in a networking event, I genuinely had that really strange kind of impostor syndrome feeling, which I probably have never told you before. So yeah, so the fact that we now know each other, and we're doing this, it's just really a lovely kind of full circle thing for me, because I remember being one of those watches and seeing you do your thing. And being very envious, I guess, in a lot of ways. So thank you.

Shelley Bosworth:

Wow, thank you for that. Because you haven't told me that no pressure at all. If I can, anyone can which is one of my mantras. And look at you now and look at us now. Actually, look at us now.

Jennie Lister:

Absolutely, absolutely. I didn't even plan to say that. But it just I just wanted to say that it just came to me. So I want a plan to say was about you, which is the fact that you are a business and mindset coach for women, you help women get out of their own head, and you help them get out of their own way to achieve absolutely anything that they want, which I think is just so inspiring. And so true. Thank you. And you offer one to one coaching, you do group programmes as well. And you've got your very lovely free Facebook community, which is the Successful Ladies Escape Lounge, which I love the name of that. I don't think I knew that was the name

Shelley Bosworth:

Bit of amouthful, isn't it? You have to say a certain speed. Otherwise, that word successful can go wrong for you.

Jennie Lister:

I nearly just said sex by the way.

Unknown:

Yeah, it is a bit of a mouthful. I remember getting feedback on that right at the beginning. But you know what? I went with it. And I remember asking the ladies in the group actually about a year ago, and thinking about changing the name of the group. What do you think? And the overwhelming response was? No, no, we love the successful laser scanner. So it stopped. I'm gonna stay with it.

Jennie Lister:

I love it. It does what it says on the tin. How did you come up with a name?

Unknown:

Not easily. I mean, like anything, we overthink these things, don't we? And I got hung up on the word successful, you know what people resonate with that some people, you know, not resonate with it. And, you know, like anything, if some do some don't, I wanted to create a safe space, a community, yes, but a space for people to just be honest about stuff. And then to be able to help them navigate that. Hence the escape Lounge, which I also have to think quite carefully about because of escape rooms. So when you start out in all kinds of directions. Yeah, so I think successful ladies is you know, I like working with ambitious women. But I know that ambitious women can get in their own way. Hence, you know, my mission is to help women get out of their heads and out of their own way to achieve their goals in life and business. So I think it encapsulates really nicely what I'm all about.

Jennie Lister:

I love that word escape, because I think there's a lot of things we actually do need to escape from in life that we probably pretend that we're absolutely fine in that comfort zone. So, I'd love to know, what have you found that people in your Facebook group have escaped from or your clients?

Unknown:

Great question to start off. Well, one of the things I asked actually so when anyone comes into the group, you know, like, like so often the case was face to face a Facebook group. So we have questions and I ask what is it you're trying to escape from? And I think many people and I think I know so in a lot of people are trying to almost escape the realities of life. Because that can be what can weigh us down, escape ourselves sometimes. So you know, hence there get out of our own heads. So you know, the challenges, the pressure, the expectations we put upon ourselves. And then you know, a lot of the work I do you said, you don't see you saw me in action before you are in this world. Now the work I do is about kind of getting under the skin of impostor syndrome, limiting belief mindset. It's all about mindset. And actually sometimes people want to escape that so I think that what I endeavour to do is normalise that stuff rather than making it a really big deal and then help people work out how to manage it/ escape it so it doesn't become a big weighty issue for us in life but you can be

Jennie Lister:

I think imposter syndrome. I mean, I've talked about it, I've done an episode about it, which was more of me just sharing like my experiences of it. But I just think that is such a real thing that we face all the time, like, what do you tend to share with your clients when they say that they've got that impostor syndrome?

Unknown:

So a couple of things that say straight away, I think impostor syndrome has become a bit of a label that gets bandied around quite a lot. So a lot of people will put the label upon themselves really, really quickly as well, I actually kind of flip it totally on its head, and say, if you're feeling a bit of imposter syndrome, what if that's a good thing. And what I mean by that is, if you're feeling a bit of imposter syndrome, it probably means you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, which can very often be a really good thing. Now, the feeling doesn't always feel very nice, but just kind of looking at why what's created that feeling, actually, there might be an opportunity for surprising there, because you're doing something that you haven't done before you're pushing yourself out your comfort zone, you're going for something you really want. In terms of dealing with it. First thing I say is everybody experiences and there's real kind of conscious decision around the word I use there. Because you hear people saying, I suffer with imposter syndrome. It's like saying, I've got a disease of some sort. Yeah, so actually, it's an experience, it's a feeling. And there's a second part, it is a feeling, it's not a thing, we can shift our feelings, we just have to think differently to shift our feelings. So actually, it comes back into, let's just take it back a couple of steps and look at what's triggering that thought process. And what if we could counteract those thoughts of I'm not good enough, I don't deserve with all the reasons you do. So I've always about looking for evidence to the contrary, and helping to kind of rebalance the scales almost. So the imposter syndrome goes down a little bit and the feelings of okay, perhaps I can come up a little bit

Jennie Lister:

I love that. That's amazing. And I genuinely think that mindset I know is one of your big areas that you work on is so important, like having a good mindset. And I'm all about the strategy. But at the same time, you need to have a good mindset, you can't be doing your plans, if you haven't got the mindset for it.

Unknown:

100%. You know, this is where I know you and I've had this conversation before you need both, you cannot have strategy without mindset. Also, it's wonderful having a great mindset. But if you've got no strategy, you're still not gonna get anywhere, you absolutely need both pieces to prop one another up, so to speak in order to move forward. My belief is mindset comes first. But my other belief is that it never ever stops. So actually, you start with mindset, you move into strategy. And as you get as you move forward with your strategy, actually, you need to bring your mindset along with you. And so it's a virtuous circle. Yeah, every next level, as it was the saying New Level new devil, with every step up, we take another another thing might come along, that's like, Oh, that's a bit scary. Where do I go with that? So yeah, they work hand in hand.

Jennie Lister:

Why do you think because this really interesting, you say that. And I feel like you as a woman, as an entrepreneur, you achieve something, and then you want to do something else, and you want to do something else, and you want to keep growing and keep developing. I know that's how I feel. And a lot of people I speak to feel not everyone's like that. And that's fine. I'm not saying that we should be like that. But it's really difficult to have that kind of constant fire in your belly, but also trying to balance everything else. Do you find that your clients experience that?

Unknown:

Absolutely. So I think there's a number of things there, I'd pick up on straightaway. You just You just said brilliantly, you know, so often, you know, we're like, what's next? What's next? What's next? Yeah, but I want to keep going. And then you quite rightly, you can I caught you. Someone said, No, not everybody. And I think there's a lot of pressure these days that we should want the next the next the next? And actually, it's okay, if you don't. So I just want to put that out to everybody. Because actually the number one question to ask yourself from them. I was working with a client on this just yesterday. The number one question is What's it all for? For you? Where is it you're trying to get to? And and very often people get really scared of that question, because maybe they don't know the answer. Maybe they're worried about if I say the answer out loud, it means I've got to try and get there. And actually, you know what, nothing, nothing is permanent. Okay. Anything can change, you're allowed to change your mind. I'm a great example of that. If you'd met me five years ago, maybe six now because I've got to remember timelines, I get your hands so fast. I'm like, wait a minute. So five years ago, 656 years ago, if you'd met me, I didn't, I didn't know I wanted to do this. I didn't set out and go, I have great aspirations to run my own business, I want to be a coach. And that's kind of separate story. And the point of that, though, is you what you want can change. But actually, if you don't know what you're even trying to get to, then you can find yourself scrapping and going well, I clearly need to do more, I need to get to the next. You know, what's the next level? Well, the next level is only another step on the way to your end goal. What ever your end goal is, yeah, and that's what I'm really passionate about. Just it's okay. For you to want wherever you want. No one has no one gets to tell you that. My big might not be your big my small might not be useful. You know, it's it's so so important. It's yours, and it matters to you

Jennie Lister:

Yeah. And I'm very excited because I won, obviously, the raffle prize, which is, I guess, a coaching session with you, which we're gonna do in the new year. Yes. I cannot tell you how excited I am. I've already been thinking about what I want to focus on. Oh, my goodness, what am I going to talk about? But I genuinely feel that thing of constant battle between I want to be a great mom and I want to be there for my daughter and my family. Really, but I also want to have a really successful business. And some days I'm like, maybe I shouldn't have actually embarked on this journey because I've started something that I've got to live up to now. And then other days, I'm like, this is just exactly what I want to be doing. And it's yeah, that's something that I've been thinking about a lot. And I do think about a lot

Unknown:

scribbling background quickly ready, for Jen session. You know, again, what you just described there is so common, I don't have children, I work with lots of women who have children, that you know, the balance, the elusive balance that people are trying to achieve is a challenge. And my hat's off to all of you. But But the key there, and then the number one question, seed for you for New Year and anyone's listening is, when you say I want to have a successful business, what does a successful business look like for you? What is it that you know, when will you know, it's a successful business? What's the evidence of success for you? And that's the piece because there's so much, honestly, pressure, but I think we put pressure on ourselves, because there's so much out there telling us what everybody else thinks success is what we should be working towards, we should, you know, and I'm being very flippant and putting big statements, but you know, they're all the get to six figures, you know, get to seven figures do it in three days. And you know, there's just an awful lot of pressure. We've all decided what what does a successful life look like? Yeah, us.

Jennie Lister:

It's really funny, because as you're talking, I'm writing notes of like things I want to pick up on. And I've got little trees now from different things. You've said that I don't even know where to go next. Because there's so much to let's talk about the six figure thing because I wanted to Yeah, I always wanted to unpack that. Because there's all these chat about like, get to six figures get to seven figures, something that I talk about a lot is grow a profitable business, like what's the point in having a six or seven figure business or let's just say a six figure business? Because a lot of people kind of think about 100k. Mark? Wow, that's amazing. And yes, it is absolutely amazing. But if you're only making a 20% margin, you're only earning 20k. And again, earning 20k is not a bad thing at all. Everyone's different. Everyone's success is up to them. So how would you advise someone if they kind of feel that pressure of like, they want to get to six figures, but they want that prestigious amount in their lives?

Shelley Bosworth:

And it's a great question, and I'm just going to throw in straight away that I absolutely have been that person and to a point still am. You know, I've got a corporate background. And I guess one of my first big goals was to match the corporate salary that I'd walked away from. Yeah, and I think actually on reflection, it wasn't even about the number it was about showing me and probably the world around me that I could get back to inverted commas. This is a podcast you can't see. So I've got inverted commas. Showing myself I could get back to where I was, because you know, when you walk away, and in so many women in business, not everybody, but there's a lot that have come away from corporate careers and almost feel like they go back to the beginning and have to start again, which I don't believe is the case. But I certainly went through that myself. So I think that was one of the one of the first things I guess the question that I would ask, and you're right about profitability, by the way, and I'm going to sound like a broken record is actually always comes back to and I don't like using why the word very often. Why is it important to you to get to six figures? That's actually the real question. It's not about the number. It's never about the money. I know, you did a podcast with Chris Watts recently about rent money mindset. Yeah. You know, it's never about the money. Money is just a vehicle to get us to, or to enable us to have or to do certain things. And so like everybody, I think there's so much out there that talks about six figures being that first big hurdle, so we can get swept up in that. But then what and actually so what will you do when you get to that number? What will that give you? It's always back to? What does it give you? What's the driver for you? What do you want the six figures to enable you to be do or have you? Because if you don't know the answer to that, then actually it's not about the six minutes till we have very different questions to unpack.

Jennie Lister:

Yeah, it's just a round number, isn't it? 100k? Yes, around number and we just pick it

Shelley Bosworth:

up. And my my coach quite rightly pointed out to me, you know, we all get we do we all talk about that six figure number. And of course, you know, without going down and accountancy route, there's others that could do this much, much better than I. But of course, we all know the threshold for VAT. You know, the minute you go over that number 100 isn't enough anyway, you need to go way past that to account for the view. So to be honest, yeah, it's a great big myth that we're causing ourselves challenge with, and I was like, Oh, my gosh, yeah, that's a really good point. So yeah, that's slightly different

Jennie Lister:

conversation. Yeah. When it comes to tax 50 55k is like more in the UK is an optimum level to some extent. So it's a is what Yeah, what do you want to be doing with that money, like you say, and what feels right to you?

Shelley Bosworth:

Absolutely. And that's why to your point, actually, and I'm not saying to anybody, you know, put huge amounts of pressure on yourself but profit is is is really the number you know, in terms of the difference is going to make to you it's about what you are able to to gain back as a result of all your efforts. Because if you're making a lot of money, but there's none to show for it. Yeah, there's a whole other conversation to be going on.

Jennie Lister:

Yep, absolutely. And I, I did my numbers bottom up the other day. I and that's what I'm always going to do is I start with my profit number, and then I build back to the revenue I need to achieve, because that's basically going to get me what I need to achieve my goals. Okay, so what I wanted to tap into was the conversation we had where you talked about impostor syndrome. And getting out of that comfort zone, I wanted to go back to you, and when you took that entrepreneur step, so when you left that employee world, and you decided to become an entrepreneur, so I say I say it as if it happened overnight. I'd love to know your story. Like did it happen overnight? How did it happen? Because one of my goals with the podcast is to tap into those people that are still employed, that might have that fire in their belly, but just don't know how to make it happen and haven't got that self belief. So I want to share stories of all my guests that have have done that transition, I know that you have done an amazing transition. So please talk to us about it. So

Shelley Bosworth:

let me give some context on my story. Yeah. Because as I kind of alluded, I wasn't someone sat five years ago going wow, you know, that's it. I want out. I'm gonna start my own business. That's not how this happened for me. So I corporate background, 25 years in the corporate world, fairly standard. You know, I worked hard at school. I didn't go to university. I wanted to get out there. I wanted to earn money. I was really clear. I had a list of things I wanted to achieve. I was on the things list. So it was the house, the car the holodeck, you know, absolutely, yeah. And that that was the journey I took. I worked very, very hard. I climbed the ladder, and I was doing very, very well. So I worked across retail and hospitality for a number of businesses that many people will have heard of them. I say that with a lot of confidence, because it's kind of high street retail. Yeah, I know in high street food and beverage businesses. And so 2015 is where things started to ship. We're actually just before 2015 So I met my husband, my now husband in 2014. We we got engaged, we got married, we got married in 2015. Now my husband's parents lived in Italy. They had retired early, so really aspirational kind of story. You know, they've worked really hard as well. They've retired early, they moved out to Italy bought a derelict property philon Grand Designs situation and rebuilt it. Wow. And yeah, so very nice. And you're meeting the in laws in Italy. We got married in 2015. And four days after our wedding, my father in law was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. He was 63. And as I just described, they were kind of not quite living the dream yet, because actually, they've moved and they've worked very hard for a few years on rebuilding this house. And so essentially, very quickly, our life shifted, and actually what we thought that married life stroke, the next five years is gonna look like was kind of turned on its head. So my in laws came back from Italy to the UK. And the next two to three years were very much about supporting them through that journey. And I don't say that in a woe is me way i that is context. Because I was very, very ambitious. I was very driven. I worked way too many hours, I travelled a lot for my job, I was working for Haven caravan parks part of the board Leisure Group. So I went to the seaside quite a lot. I went away three or four days a week, and I was part of the food and beverage business. So I was involved in restaurants a lot. It was a pretty good life, I was not miserable. But as I said this was going on personally for us. And it's really important that because I know so many people, and I It breaks my heart when I talk to women who are absolutely at the end of their tether in their work life. And that wasn't me. For me, it was a real shift in terms of life priorities, how I was looking at life. And I started to question, actually, is this what I want to do until I'm 60? Which I didn't want to get to on 60. But is this what I want to do for the next 1015 20 years? Yeah, do I want to work this hard? And actually, that that real acknowledgement that my husband and I were basically working to live? And yeah, this was going on alongside us. So the next as I say, the next three years were difficult, and no one's ever experienced our time. As you know, my heart goes out to you because I know how tough that is. My father in law passed away in June 2018. And in that period of time, I turned 40 I had a health scare of my own, which was did not turn out to be as serious as we thought. But it was a health scare. Nonetheless, we were experiencing what we were going through with my father in law. So I was questioning everything, like literally everything. And so I worked with a coach and I worked with a coach for a short period of time and the output of that I did get some answers to some of my questions. But I basically came home and I said to my husband Shall I think I could do that. I mean it was a bit like that it was a bit let's see if I could do that. And actually I'd really like to explore it and he gave me his jewellery answer with I think you could tell he was also working with a coach through his work I think you could do that. And it was one of those conversations that I then I couldn't let go off so I just explored more and more and I make it sound a little bit simpler than it was because otherwise we'd be here all day but I short I kind of explored what would it look like to train as a coach and I started training while still in my corporate role I trained As a personal performance life coach, my father in law, as I say, passed away in June 2018. Now, fast forward a little bit, this was all happening. I was training, I was still working. And at that point, my intention was just use this skill to be even better at the work I did in my corporate role, and maybe, maybe do something alongside. In March 2019, my mother in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer. And she passed away 11 That 11 weeks later, so we said goodbye to both of my in laws in less than 12 months. And the output of that was, I guess, we had our lots of people through COVID have their kind of moments of, you know, what's most important, we had ours pre COVID. And, yeah, the output of that was really kind of that if I don't do this, now, I'll probably never do it, because I will really quickly, normalised life as I know it, I'll go back to work and start working all the hours. And I'll just accept it as is. And so I started putting this as the important part. So it wasn't as simple as that interest, resign and start a business and everything went, Okay. Actually, I left my corporate career in December 2019. I made the decision in the summer of 2019, or resigned a little bit later, but actually, in the background, I was already starting to work on putting foundations in place. So you know, I was connecting with people. I was networking, because I didn't know anybody that ran their own businesses. So I was trying to meet people that did that to try and, you know, get really good connections and build relationships. I was learning in the background, trying to learn you don't know what you don't know. But yeah, so I was absolutely laying foundations, I was also making sure I had money in the bank. So I was squirrelling money away to make sure we had a little cushion, if you like. So there was definitely a planning process. Yeah, for coming out. I think, very often we see people that make it seem like, you know, yeah, leave your corporate job. And it'll be easy. It's not easy. And let's just be really clear about that. I wouldn't change it. But it's not easy. But yeah, I walked away from my corporate career, 25 years in December 2019, ready for a new year, and a new decade, and a new chapter. And then of course, the world went mad, which wasn't part of my plan. And I always say that just throw this in there. I always say, you know, none of us know what's going to happen next, you know, the the most certain thing in the world is uncertainty. If I had known in December 2019, what was coming in 2020, I would not have left my core know, obviously obvious. So I'm very glad I didn't know none of us have a crystal ball, I would be lying. If I said I didn't wobble several times in that first year, because of course, it was hard to start a business in a global pandemic, my husband was then made redundant in the summer of 2020, as well. So we went from two corporate roles to one small business that's trying to grow. But luckily, I was doing quite a lot of work on mindset. And so I had to employ all the things that I was learning and working on my clients with and keep going just yeah, you know, make it again.

Jennie Lister:

Did you coach your husband as well?

Shelley Bosworth:

I did not. I absolutely did not. I was, you know, I was absolutely there to support him. But no, I did not coach him. That is first of all coaching. Do not coach your partner, your family and probably not your friends. Yeah, so that's kind of how I ended up here. And I guess, you know, to anyone that's thinking about it, I'd say, think about it. Don't think too long. Because I'm also a big believer of you know, don't overthink it, go for it. But just think about the realities and start to think about what could you do to put the wheels in motion?

Jennie Lister:

Absolutely. And I'd love to know, when did you get that first client? And do you remember your very first client?

Shelley Bosworth:

Yeah, so I actually paid client. So my qualification, I had to do an awful lot of really a lot of free continue to do that for a while. So I actually had my first paying client before I left work. I had three paying clients before I left my court. Amazing. So I was doing that in and around. I think that's really important as well, actually. Because again, it can be and I didn't get another paying client as soon as I think about it. So it was the February so I kind of went all in in the January. So it was the back end of February. So it was a good six, seven weeks before they got a client and that in itself was like oh my god, what have I done? Oh my god, what not I thought they were just gonna come flocking, you know, knocking on the door. I don't know if I as I sit here now I'm like, What did I think was gonna happen? But you know, that first moment of okay, you know, I haven't got another new client. What do I do? I thought I knew I was doing and maybe I don't, it's terrifying in those moments. But yeah, I did have three clients before I left. Not that that was gonna, you know, set the world alight in terms of what I was doing. But it meant I was on it was I was on the road, so to speak.

Jennie Lister:

Yeah. I don't know about you. But I'm imagining that you remember who those people were those first people to pass over that financial exchange and receive your services. And yeah, I guess we'll always be grateful for those. Firstly,

Shelley Bosworth:

I still speak to them now. Oh, brilliant. I still speak to all of them. Now. One of them. We don't work together all the time anymore. But actually she kind of comes back once a year for a little bit of as she calls it, her shot of Shelly Yeah, love that. And I still actually still get as excited now when I get a new client as I did in those days and I hope that Feeling never goes away? Yeah, for sure.

Jennie Lister:

So you said, Yeah, you get just as excited when you get a new client. Now, let's talk about your business. Because I hope I'm allowed to say this. But I believe you're shifting more from mindset into the business world. Can we talk about that?

Shelley Bosworth:

Yeah, we can. And I guess what I would say is not necessarily shifting, but bringing the two together. So nicely said, yeah, so I guess this is really part of that transition from employee to entrepreneur, it was almost like so when I came out of my employed environment and my corporate role, it was like, I put that in a box and put it to one side. And right now, now I do this, I run my own business. And you mentioned imposter syndrome earlier on, oh, my God, you know, the imposter syndrome, that set in them was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'd like this is a whole new world. I don't know anyone that runs their own business, I've getting to know people I was networking like, like nobody's business until we got locked down. On reflection, I'm not sure why I put kind of the corporate piece in a box to one side, I had discovered this mindset stuff. And I say it like that, because, you know, I'm, I try and keep things really real and really normal. And so that was a massive part of my journey and coming into my own in the entrepreneurial world. And discovered, I've got tonnes of limiting beliefs, really understood imposter syndrome at whole new level. And so I was really, really passionate about why doesn't, why don't people tell us about this? Why don't we know this stuff? And how can I help share it more? So I kind of went down the mindset route, and then have this moment about a year and it was probably about a year later was like, Oh, my God, I've got all this experience. Yeah. And I've like, I've stopped using it. So year two was really about how do I bring those two pieces together and feel in myself that I can do that. So I guess there has been a shift, but it's more about the shift is bringing those two pieces back together than kind of coming away from mindset, because as we talked about, you need strategy and mindset. So I'm very much in it. My background is not in strategy. But I am very much about helping people shift their business forward. But you have to get your mindset right, in order to take those actions. Does that make sense?

Jennie Lister:

It does. And I think that's a really magical space to play in. Because you can bring both of those skills to your clients, for example, because I'm very much more on the business. And the strategy sense, as you say, and I've worked with clients on like, let's create a plan for 2023, and all that kind of stuff. But actually, something someone pointed out to me, which I think is very true is there is a fear factor when it comes to those goals. So for example, I launched my podcast this year, I was absolutely, like, I was so nervous, I was so scared about doing it. And therefore you need to work through those fears, which is where the mindset coaching and that side of things come in, I think. And equally when I looked at my group programme, I was extremely nervous. And again, that's where I can totally see that when I work with people in their goals. I'm like, Yeah, that's a goal, you need to do this, this needs to do it. There you go. There's your plan. But actually, there's loads of fears to unpack behind all of that.

Shelley Bosworth:

Yeah. And that's where so I mean, I love goal setting in my work in corporate world was very operational. My role was basically to get everybody to deliver the goals of the business setting. I was very, very tactical, operational, you know, yes, we did strategic stuff, but a lot of it was kind of being passed down, I was the one that's making it happen. I love doing that work. But to your point, if your mindset isn't in a place of I'm able to I'm capable of, you know, when the fears start coming through, if you don't know how to handle those, you're not going to do it. And very often, and not this, isn't it, you know, but I've, some of my clients come to me where they've spent a lot of money with big business coaches, you've given them all the strategy, tactics, all that to do and they're kind of going, I'm still not doing it. And that's where I hope I bring something, thank you for calling in Moscow, I think, you know, something a bit unique in that we work on both pieces. What I endeavour to do is give people the tactics. So I said earlier, new level new devil, you know, with every step up, we take, we've gotta be able to pull back on those tactics and go okay, I can see this for what it is. And I know how to handle it. Now I can see that fear that's creeping up on me

Jennie Lister:

yesterday, and I think it's something to do with like that. I'm gonna call it like a gap because I've got role models that I see in my business, but one of the people absolutely adore is Jay Shetty. Like, absolutely adore him. I think he's amazing. I listened to his daily Jay on Comm every single day. I don't often subscribe to stuff like that. But I've just love what he represents. And I if you ask me what I want to be, I would easily say I just want to be like him, basically. But for me, there's a massive gap between where I am now and what he's doing. And I think often when we do these big programmes with these amazing, incredible people, we see the gap and it's too big and we therefore can't, we just don't see how we can get there. And I think that's where it is all about like small steps, small decisions and constant incremental improvement as opposed to like, overnight, you're gonna wake up and be the next Jay Shetty.

Shelley Bosworth:

Absolutely. These people, you know, these people, you know, they're normal people. They started somewhere. So they started with zero followers and you know, perhaps not even know what to do either. It's incredible to have those roles. those those aspirations and to be able to see that is achievable. But yeah, sometimes that gap can feel so big, actually, how do I get from where I am I often talk about, you know, people know what 10 out of 10 looks like. But they're sitting here at one out of 10. And, you know, we talk about overnight success, and there's no such thing everybody wants to get from there one or two to number 10. Well, I'm sorry, but you have to take steps three through nine to get to number 10. That's frustrating for some of us, because we want it now. It's also scary, because it means we've got to do the yucky stuff. But the reality is, every one of those people that we're looking at, we think is a 10, out of 10, they went through steps one to nine, we just don't necessarily know their story

Jennie Lister:

yet. So let's talk about not just business, like let's talk about all the parts of our lives that how do you work with your clients? Because obviously, there's health, there's wealth, there's relationships, and those things can be a big reason that maybe our mindset isn't where it needs to be, or that we are stopping ourselves from launching a business or changing careers or getting that promotion or new job at work. So how do you interact with your clients and manage the fact that there's so many spinning plates that they might have goals in? There's a lot isn't there? There is? Yeah. And

Shelley Bosworth:

I guess it's one of the challenges of what I do, you know, you introduce my kind of use my bio, I say, you know, to help people to help women achieve whatever they want. That's a massive statement. Yeah, predominantly people. Certainly my clients come to me because the business is such a huge part of their lives very often, what we discover is actually, their business is part but actually, there's other stuff. And I guess the beauty of mindset is once you start to notice and have an awareness of where your mindset could be getting in the way, you can start to see that in other parts of your life. So one of the first things I do with, with most of my clients, even if they do come to me saying, Well, this is what I want to achieve, you know, I don't ever take people off the path they want to achieve. But actually, it's just take a more holistic view of how they feel about life in general. So and I tend to work a little bit counter intuitively. So what I challenge people to think about is what's not working, rather than going straight for them, what do you want life to look like? So scary itself? So actually, let's just get really honest, let's get really honest about current situation current circumstances. And if you're really honest with yourself, what's not working for you right now? What's not making you happy? What are you accepting? normalising rationalising? And if I gave you my little pretend magic wand, what would you change? That's where you can get to some real nuggets of kind of, yeah, what we really need to work on is this. It's not about that that's an output of something else. I hope that makes sense as an answer.

Jennie Lister:

I love that. Can you share any, any things that your clients have shared with you, obviously, anonymously, just at a high level? What's not working? Is it stuff like I don't know, my childcare arrangements? Or I don't know, my? I don't know. Is there any examples that you've got?

Shelley Bosworth:

Oh, there's so many. Yeah, childcare arrangements has come up. Just thinking. And there's a bit you know, sometimes, sometimes we can get ourselves where we think there's a really big thing to fix. You said about kind of the small things. I've worked for someone who used to say it's small hinges swing big doors, and has to start I love Oh, wow. Yeah. And actually, we don't notice the small hinges. So you know, you went straight to childcare there, you know, that, I know, that's a big thing. So just to be familiar, but actually, that might feel like a really small part of everything in the grand scheme. But that could be having a really, the ripple effect of that can be huge. Now, I've worked with women who have felt like they are just so out of control. And actually, what they really need is just to be able to find an hour a week for themselves, what they really want is just to go to the gym without feeling guilty. Yeah. And when they go to the gym, not only you know, once they get past that guilt piece and find their way to do it, they also feel better about themselves. So health comes up a lot. Because women particularly for themselves, so far down the list, yes, money comes up a lot. But again, often because we're putting so much pressure on ourselves, that we should have more and be doing more to get more. And then you know, there's the whole other piece about particularly in business owners, whether we charging are worse, etc, etc. A whole other conversation. Gosh, all kinds of stuff comes out. That's a really that's a really big question to answer as, as I sit in thinking about it. I like clients mentally, in my mind that I often say it's very often the thing that people start coming to me to start working on very often is not the thing we end up working on. How interesting. I guess that's probably the best way I can answer that. Yeah,

Jennie Lister:

yeah, you kind of unpack things, and you delve deeper and deeper and peel away the onion as it were. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that whole debate about women and men like when it comes to money, and what people earn. And I know when you take yourself away from the labour market as a woman, and then you come back to the labour market, you feel like you've got less worth to some extent, and your value changes. And there is all there's so much stuff at the moment about gender and equality, isn't there? And do you have a view on that? Like, what's your perspective?

Shelley Bosworth:

Cool? That's a big question. Of course, I have. I mean, I have views on it. You know, I guess there's a bit of a feminist inside of me because, you know, I'm really passionate about women, I'm just really passionate about women being treated equally. I should point out as well though, that and whilst I predominantly work with women, I do work with some men. And I think there is a whole other whole whole, a whole load of other stuff going on for men right now, too, I guess ultimately, where I come from is we are living in a time right now, which particularly for women, I think we're living in an exciting but challenging time, we are paving the way for future generations of women. So we have opportunities and experiences that, you know, our mums our grandmothers could only have dreamed of. Yeah, that puts an additional layer of pressure on our current generation, because actually, what we're trying to do is all of it. Yeah, because actually, what hasn't necessarily happened completely yet is taking some stuff off the shoulders, we're still living in a world where we've been conditioned to believe that essentially, there's a big sweeping statements I'm making, that women are expensive to kind of still bounce all the plates. Yeah. And so for my opinions are less about the monetary side. And I do think there's a huge debate there. But the work that I do is about supporting women to believe in themselves enough to be able to say, actually, no, I am worth more than that. And then the number that I'm going to put out is that, but we are currently this generation, our generation Gen, you know, we are faced with so much opportunity, and so many, you know, so much excitement of the future and what we can lay the paving for, but also still carrying a certain weight of the past. Yeah, we haven't completely shredded. I don't know if that makes sense. What I'm trying to say is, I think this is a really exciting, incredible time for women. But it's also quite a precious and challenging time for our generation who are trying to shed that and pave the way for the future. I don't know if that made any sense.

Jennie Lister:

It does. And I think you're right is a pivotal time. And I love that you mentioned the men as well, because I I believe that we've got a really big role to play in teaching men, how they need to be helping us as women as well to bring that fairness. But it's such a big thing. And I feel like I have massively put you on the spot. Because it's

Shelley Bosworth:

that is Do you know what? That's a brilliant subject for an entire podcast. There's so much to unpack there. There is yes, yeah. Okay,

Jennie Lister:

so could you tell me what you see as some of the biggest challenges that your clients work with? said, what are their mindset challenges? What are the things stopping them?

Shelley Bosworth:

Yeah, so we've already mentioned the dreaded imposter syndrome is one of the biggest things that women come to me with. And as I said, I do think there's a little bit where, you know, it becomes kind of this label that we grab on to and actually the root of that. And again, it's part of, you know, we're living in this incredibly exciting time when it comes to technology, comparison. Yes, huge challenge for my clients. So, and by comparison, you know, there's that we are surrounded by this, this incredible tool, that can be a blessing and a curse social media, let's just call it what it is, is great for inspiring, aspiring, but can be a real challenge in terms of comparing ourselves and putting more pressure on ourselves. So comparisons and massive one I've mentioned already a huge one around releasing ourselves from the guilt of actually putting ourselves higher on the list. Particularly and I'm sorry to please no, this is meant in only the right way. Mums, I mean, you know, I, as I said, I'm not a mom, but throwing children in the mix, as well as all the other stuff that women are trying to balance, you know, there is this huge piece about you are allowed to bring yourself up that list and your wants your desires. Yeah. And then we've talked about all three actually, as I said, a minute now, I guess the other piece is the other one that's a big one is worth money. You know, I do a lot of work with women on pricing. But actually, it's not about pricing, it's about confidence, believes that we can charge our worth. So those will be the biggest three biggest kind of categories that are all also intrinsically kind of interlinked, if I'm honest.

Jennie Lister:

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I definitely think that they all resonate with me that all things I've experienced, and the thing I said me too. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think it's really important to normalise that we are very much normal people we've all we all go through these challenges and we're all at different points in our lives have different challenges. So yeah, okay. I want to ask you about because I know you're big on personal development, you've obviously started your when you started your business, you did so much work around that I'm sure you've absorbed so much. So are there any habits that you would highly recommend? And are there any books that you would highly recommend? Yeah, so

Shelley Bosworth:

unsurprisingly, I'm a massive fan of personal development is a huge part of clearly what I do but you know, everything I do is about awareness of yourself and how you can improve yourself. So my personal habits are so I work with the coach just for clarity coaches have coaches do we just said we're human we have stuff and I can't coach myself. So now the role of coaches don't try and coach yourself? I absolutely so daily routine wise, I don't put pressure on any one of our morning routines. I'm a morning person so I don't have like the hour long morning routine. I've read the

Jennie Lister:

the Miracle Morning Miracle Morning,

Shelley Bosworth:

the miracle morning. Thank you. I've read that I think it's great but So for me, the the two things that I do absolutely keep saying sacred on an on a daily basis, gratitude, you know, I take a few moments every single morning just to think about what I'm really thankful for. And I guess within that, I'd almost write that as gratitude and pride. So I allow myself to acknowledge, actually, I'm grateful for these things. But I'm also grateful to me, I'm proud of what I've done and what I did you know, so I always think about what did I do yesterday that actually, I'm pleased about love that I every day, I set one goal. And what I mean by that is I just get clear on what's the one thing that I want to make happen today, even if that's a task I've been putting off, you know, so I've always got one thing that I say, come hell or high water, this needs to happen today. And on a broader scale, I schedule development time in my, in my plan in my in my diary. And what I mean by that is whether that's what I'm doing, when we're counting the moment or pro, you know, it programmes to I'm always there. So we don't know what we don't know. And there's so much in this world of run your own business. So from day one, I've sought out to learn the things I need to learn. And I've always got development time planned in my diary, and quarterly, I kind of look at what what's the thing I think I need for this next stage of my journey. Yeah, I'm not perfect. Okay. And you know, I get busy, and I sometimes let the wrong things get in the way. But that what I don't ever let go is that daily routine of gratitude, or I didn't go.

Jennie Lister:

And I think it's really important to say like, it's, it's not for everyone to have that hour long routine is completely

Shelley Bosworth:

up to you. Absolutely. I mean, I'm talking about 10 minutes. With a cuppa. Yes, it's not an hour's long routine. I don't go out running every single morning, you know, I do like to actually do those things. But, but fundamentally, what I believe everybody can find five minutes a day, you know, that's five or 10 minutes from a cup of tea in the morning. This is why I

Jennie Lister:

love the daily Jay, because it's a seven minute audio and I wish I did it at the same time every day never happens. But I do do it as I don't do it every day. But I do it as much as I can. And it has been the best investment that I made. I think I spent 20 quid on the annual membership for calm because there was a discount. And I'm like, that has been so worth it. And that's an element of what I do. That keeps does keep me it teaches me every day, like a little bit of personal development, and just does some breath work. And I'm like, okay, yeah, I definitely feel more at peace having done it,

Shelley Bosworth:

and everybody has to find their thing. I think that's what's really important. And I remember reading somewhere, like, lit by the sense, you know, we put so much pressure like like the morning routine is a great one. You know, there's there's obviously huge amounts of of research and lots and lots of fans of the Miracle Morning. But but actually find your version of miracle, find your version of what works for you and consistently doesn't have to be constantly and um, that's that's the other piece consistency can mean you do something three times a week, you don't have to beat yourself up. If you're not doing it seven days a week. Do you know what Sundays is probably the day that I don't fit into the group because you know what? Sundays, we have a slightly different routine in the house here. And so, you know, it's okay, I don't give myself a hard time for that. But Monday to Friday,

Jennie Lister:

there's not a day I miss. But that's because I've built that routine and made it work for me. But I think the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about not doing something that you think yeah, would have been good for your personal development or your business or whatever. And I genuinely think jumping back on the bandwagon. And when you've got the time and you've got it back in your life is okay. Yeah, yeah. So tell me a book that you would recommend, then,

Shelley Bosworth:

this is such a, whenever I get asked this question, I kind of do a bit of it. Oh, which one should I choose? I read a lot actually has been again, I do endeavour to read most days, even if it's just you know, five or 10 minutes. Once a book I'd recommend to everybody

Jennie Lister:

whilst you're thinking, something that I've done recently is I got I use the library loads for my daughter. And I got out a book, it was actually a parenting book. So I kind of I read a mixture of personal development business books, and at the moment parenting books, and I just had this light bulb moment, I was like, Why do I not do this more often? Why don't I go to the library and get the book out the library that I want to read instead of buying loads of books, they sit there, I read them once, and then they sit there more. So my new thing and I'd recommend to anyone because it's it's free as well. Like you don't have to spend the 10 quid on a book, go to the library, sign up to the library and and order your book. You can reserve any book, as

Shelley Bosworth:

you're saying, but why don't we do that? I mean, we like I said, as a child, we just go to the library, like every weekend. I love. I'm such a big, just, we honestly had a conversation before we came on about, you know, the amount of books I've got, I'm literally looking at the books in front of me and I don't even know there are some that I have read multiple times, but not all of them. So yeah, that's a rather great idea. I think I might sign up to the library. On the corner. Yeah. Yeah, gosh, bring back the library. Let's start this. I've got a list of books that people recommend cuz I do love a recommendation and I do love to read. And I'm like you I read a mix of books, you know, read development also love a bit of good fiction, you know, just to lose myself a little bit of escapism. And I will

Jennie Lister:

say that when you've got the library book, you have got that finite, you feel like you've got it back. Yeah. So there's a bit more like that. Standing yeah, I've read my last book really quickly because I guess because I had that, that love it excitement in the fact that oh, it's finite, like it's not going to be here all the time whereas I've got other books that I really want to read, but they're just sitting around my house and I haven't yet yeah, rounds picking them up. Oh, yeah, I've

Shelley Bosworth:

got some of those there too. Yeah, yeah. Tell me your recommendation. Okay, so I'll give you two. Yep, that's allowed and something that they're probably about that so actually, I always use this one. This was the very first one I read. Which was Denise Duffield Thomas. I'm a big Denise Duffield, Thomas fan. Her her original Lucky Bitch. But so I yeah, I'm not going to talk about what it's about. But it was my first kind of introduction to the law of attraction and manifestation. And I don't consider myself Whoo, inverted commas. Were curious. You know, I said, I read something recently, where someone's that they sit on the intersection between spirituality and science. And I was like, That's yeah, that's where I sit. Yeah. And whilst a nice cup of Thomas is a bit more on the spiritual side, actually, she talks quite a real way. So I really love that book. And it was a really great introduction to that world. And then I'm a big fan of Jack Canfield. And actually, the success principles is an incredible book. And I think every entrepreneur should read it. Because yeah, there's just so much great stuff in there. And I go back to it, sometimes I just open it randomly on one of his success principles. Yeah, so again, I'm not gonna gonna give me much away on that. But that is a great book for business. And I would recommend anybody read it. I read

Jennie Lister:

that a long time ago now probably was a long, probably seven years ago. So I'm going to order it from my library and rereading and hoping that's a really great, great one. Yeah, amazing. Okay, so we're gonna wrap up now. So I've got a couple of things for you to share. So what is your top three tips for our listeners?

Shelley Bosworth:

So my top three tips, probably not surprisingly, coming from a mindset and business coach is, firstly, trust yourself. So you, you're probably more right than you're giving yourself credit for surround yourself with people that lift you up and support you. I know that can be difficult. Sometimes I'm not saying remove people, I'm saying, just really think about the time and the people that you spend your time with. And are they lifting you and supporting you because we need that it's a tough gig, being a entrepreneur businesswoman. And then I'm going to quote another great author, author, a great coach, I'm going to quote Marie Forleo. And I'm gonna say start before you're ready. Because actually, I said earlier on, that doesn't mean don't think about things. Don't put some plans in place. But you'll never be 100% ready yet. So just make the start and start doesn't mean, you know, go big or go home start means take the first step, you take the first step, even if you're not sure if you're ready. So there's my three tips. I love that. That's amazing. Thank you very much for sharing them. Okay, and then to wrap up, could you share with our listeners, your website, your socials, we will link them as well in the Episode Notes, and also your latest offer or how people can work with you. So I am really easy to find across the socials. and my website is Shelly Bosworth coaching. So I'm actually Bosworth coaching, I am on Instagram almost every single day, if you fancy a metaphorical kick up the backside, or an inspirational lift, that's what I do. Of course, we mentioned my free Facebook group as well, this successful ladies escape lounge. Yes, by all means, come over and join us. And yeah, the website surely goes with coaching. So I'm really easy to find, in terms of there's no I'm not launching or selling anything at the moment. And sometimes that's fine a few to people. What I would say is if if anything that we've talked about today really resonates and it's got you thinking, You know what, I spent too much time in my head and I'm I'm getting in my own way, then reach out and have let's have a chat about police work me I went one to one with people. As you mentioned the bidding, I have a group programme, the next level mindset mastermind. I have some new things coming in 2023, which I can't wait to share with people. So I think it's really important to reach out and have the conversation because about finding what's the right solution for you. And there's there's no obligation, there's no cost, there's no obligation. You know, a chat and a cuppa comes for free.

Jennie Lister:

I think that's so important because you've got to align your values have got to align. You've got to feel connected to that person that you choose to work with. Like it is an investment in not only financially but also time. And yeah, that introduction phase is so important. And it's for you as much as for the client as well isn't

Shelley Bosworth:

100% Yeah,

Jennie Lister:

I love that. Okay. Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I have loved chatting to you. I feel like I did the least amount of prep for this guest interview and that sounds so bad. But I've actually loved going with the flow even more and as a as an interviewer. I'm obviously learning as I go as well. So thank you for just yeah, just being really up for it and being really open and honest and sharing all the things you shared.

Shelley Bosworth:

Thank you so much for inviting me on and thank you for the conversation. I think we you know, we talked about some really interesting things there. So definitely we could have gone on all day.

Jennie Lister:

Bye All right, lovely. Take care. Thank you so much for listening to the journalist, a podcast. I truly appreciate every single one of you. If you'd like to leave me a review on your podcast app, I would love that. And if you'd like to follow me on social media, it's at genista coaching on Instagram and LinkedIn